Stick with the Women
Tune: Stick to the Craythur (trad)
Lyrics copyright 1992 Mary Bertke
Well, ye say that the women are worse than the men,
that they went down to hell and got sent back again,
but I have my reasons, I'll tell them to thee,
why men are far worse than e'er women could be.
Throughout all of hist'ry are women of myst'ry
whence freedom and knowledge spring, beyond a man's knack,
with genius in store, creativity more
than enough to make up for the member they lack.
So stick with the women, your head'll be swimmin'
with notions of conquest and learning and peace.
With puberty men are distracted, detracted,
the same only brings a young woman's release.
Well, the Oracle at Delphi to whom great men wealthy
all came to hear solid and sound sage advice,
before her they're fools with play-toys for tools,
perhaps they're not real men, but only small mice.
Now wisdom is female and ever with glee males'll
nip at her heels for a thought that's well-turned,
and at school, or at college, the base of men's knowledge,
it's wisdom, the woman, they come for to learn.
When trying to tempt Eve, and get her to believe
that apples gave wisdom to tell good advice,
took Satan himself to steal all her wealth,
while Adam just ate it without thinking twice.
With little perception, nor slightest conception
of being misled by such devilish wiles,
he took it, and ate it, not asking who made it,
blamed Eve when God drove them off ten hundred miles.
(ref)
Well, Elisabeth One made the Spanish ships run,
confused and unguided they strayed from their course.
Made England shine with this heavenly sign,
protected her country without use of force.
Deceived, undecided, men are always excited,
they're mindlessly going off, dying in war.
Without pause to question, or other suggestions,
or even to ask what the fighting's all for.
Men will try to be witty with minds itty-bitty,
this song's a bit twitty, yet I'll make it clear,
that whatever they say, sure it gets in the way
of any romance they may brew with their dear.
Men are hormones on feet with IQ's of dead meat,
they blather of politics, sports, and the war.
They're clumsy when passionate, can't even speak—
women may lose control but they don't lose technique!
(ref)
Written after a bad breakup. I still sing it occasionally to please the hearts of angry women. ;-)