I'll Be Dysfunctional for You, Baby

Original Version
aka The Dysfunctional Song
Copyright 1996 Mary Bertke

When your lady up and left you                          C

of her charms and gifts bereft you                       F

swore you’d never love again.                             C   G

But in this room where passion lurks,                  C

believe me, you’ll see fireworks.                          F

I’ll be dysfunctional for you.                               C   G   C

Refrain:

          I’ll be dysfunctional for you, baby,           C   F

          I’ll be dysfunctional for you,                     C   F

          You don’t have to go out searchin’           C

          for that psychopath who’s lurkin’,             F

          I’ll be dysfunctional for you.                     C   G   C

I hear she left you broken-hearted

when her killing rampage started.

You were left without recourse.

Do those knife scars on your arms

remind you of my gentle charms?

I’ll be dysfunctional for you.

Each night when you lie down to rest,

I’ll come to you in my best,

and you’ll see me dressed to kill.

Now, I don’t understand why there’s so much fuss

when my name’s Della Sutorius.

I’ll be dysfunctional for you.

When that fever’s got you yearnin’

and you feel your flesh is burnin’,

but you don’t know where to start,

with some fluid and a lighter

I will set your heart on fire.

I’ll be dysfunctional for you.

Darlin’, when you feel the urgin’,

and testosterone is surgin’,

I will make you body thrill

with the power of twenty amps

from the bedside lava lamp.

I’ll be dysfunctional for you.

          I’ll be dysfunctional for you, baby,

          I’ll be dysfunctional for you,

          You don’t have to go out searchin’

          for that psychopath who’s lurkin’,

          I’ll be dysfunctional for you, baby.

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