The Food from the Dining
Hall
Tune: Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake
(trad)
Lyrics copyright 1992 Mary Bertke
As I sat in my window last evening,
the letterman brought it my way,
a catalogue sent by Augusta asking,
"Will you be coming to play?"
Well, I wanted to go there so badly,
I knew that I would have a ball,
but the first challenge I had to tackle was
surviving their dining hall!
Chorus:
There was pasta, peas, and carrots,
and something had beef 'cause it started to moo;
there was roadkill, skunk, and ferrets,
and something all covered with goo.
There were some things there better not mentioned,
sure I'd rather be eating the walls.
Well, I had to fight just to get down a bite of
the food from the dining hall.
Well, Ellery wanted to try some,
but really it wasn't no use —
We pulled at the pasta an hour and
we couldn't get none of it loose.
Till Harvey came in with a crow bar,
James Kelly came in with a file.
Ah, this pasta was strong enough, I swear for
to drag a man half a mile.
Well, Ellery turned pale and sickly
when the vegetables started to move,
but Beth moved a little more quickly
when the pickled ham started to groove.
Cynthia simply got cholic,
and Mary a pain in her head.
By the end of the week, I assure you,
we just hoped that our food would be dead!
August 1992